When The Eternal Optimist Becomes A Broken Person

Thought Catalog

Flickr / Ben Raynal

Your gut tells you the things that your mind refuses to believe. It tells you that the only reason you are leaving their house first thing in the morning on a weekend you were promised quality time due to a “surprise family visit ” is because they are lying to you. In the grand scheme of things, is it really easier to do hurt you in this way rather than just letting you meet their cousin? After all, the only reason you are free on that day is because you altered your whole weekend to make it so. You have people that are important to you that you blew off. They didn’t even tell you they had other plans. Remorseless, they didn’t even try to honour yours. 

Your heart knows what your eyes saw. You saw a message come in on their phone that was…

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Tracee Ellis Shares What It Took To Love Her Natural Hair

WRNB 100.3 Philly


We live for Tracee Ellis Ross and her head full of curls, but she didn’t always love the hair texture that she was born with.

For many naturalistas, Tracee was a shining example of how they wanted their hair to look when “Girlfriends” debuted. The actress was always rocking her God-given texture and slayed! However, there was a time when she didn’t embrace what she had and loving her natural hair took a long time.

“It was a long journey from childhood. For so many years I was trying to beat my hair into submission, trying to get it to look like someone else’s hair and I didn’t know how,” Tracee told People magazine, adding that she went to some pretty extreme lengths to get her tresses under control. “I remember going through a phase where I even put beer in my hair, because I was told that would make…

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Why I Am Addicted to Social Media

I have been off Facebook and Instagram for almost a week now. To some people that is unthinkable. To others, its not a big deal. I am a twenty something female still trying to get my life together, so for me, and many other people like me, social media is a big part of our lives. We grew up with it. We molded it to our lives and made it apart of us. Now, its not necessarily a bad thing, expect when it is used in excess, like many people seem to do. I was one of those people who posted something every other day or tried to wait to post once a week to make it seem like I wasn’t addicted. But in reality I was on each site looking at nothing between 1 and 4 hours a day!

Now I’m sitting here, social media-clean for almost a week and I thought about checking my Facebook page. What’s the big deal? It’s just a couple of minutes. Then I thought….why? Here are reasons why I use and love social media:

  1. I can spy on other people and see how much better or worse their lives are in comparison to mine.

  2. I can see who “liked” anything I posted and therefore feel better about myself if they do

  3. I will also feel worse about myself if nobody does

  4. I want people to write on my wall or comment on my pictures so I can feel popular or like someone is thinking about me.

  5. I want to make someone else feel like they are being thought about, so i’ll interact with their profile in some type of way.

  6. I look at everyone’s Instagram page and wonder “How the hell did they get over 1,000 followers?”

  7. I will also look at the female’s pictures to see why they have over 100 likes on each picture….(because she has really good lighting…her camera is better than mine…she’s got in weave, duh….oh the wonders of makeup)

  8. I plot how I can get more likes on my next post by doing more “research”

  9. I have to see what my crush is up to but he can’t know that I’m spying on him so I don’t follow him or am not friends with him but look him up through search everyday just to be aware.

  10. Who is that girl that put kissy faces on his picture?

  11. Why won’t anyone tag me in a photo?

  12. I want people I don’t know to see me and ask “who is that?”

  13. I’m totally self obsessed but will never admit it because she is OBVIOUSLY way more self obsessed then me due to all of her selfies

  14. To look at funny pictures and save them all to my phone so I can show other people and laugh at them later….duh2014-11-26 15.17.30

Yeah. Social media is a great thing. Don’t you agree?

The Beauty of “Lorde” Radio on Pandora

Now I know people either love or hate Lorde and honestly, I fully understand. She is not for everyone, that is for sure. Now let’s back up. I love music. It speaks to me, tells my story and invokes all types of emotion in me. I love it. It’s great. Really. When I discovered “Lorde Radio” on Pandora, I just wanted to hear more Lorde. At the time, she was new to the scene at the time and I really appreciated her sound. Her edginess, depth, and uncanny ability to have each song accompanied by the dopest beats. Like seriously. Everything I love.

I have now been sucked into this world of alternative, electronic, dream pop, indie-electro, rock…..music. It’s so many things, but awesome is definitely what it all has in common. I would much rather listen to this radio than so R&B stuff because R&B puts me in my feelings and I get all emotional and start feeling like a little baby when the tears start flowing. But, most of the time, I just want to vibe and flow. So this is definitely my choice. Some of my new found favorite artists now that I highly recommend are : The Xx (who Rihanna sampled from for her Rated R album), Chet Faker, Lana Del Ray (I was already vibing with her), Purity Ring, Tove Lo & The Neighbourhood.

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This is the only way I can describe these artists:

The Xx : “I want to sit in a dark room and lay down peacefully, but I’m not depressed I promise”

Chet Faker : “I love love, but at the same time that shit bites, but I need something cool to sing along to so people I don’t know can tell me I have great taste in music”

Lana Del Ray : “I AM DEPRESSED…….and her voice is beautiful too”

Purity Ring : “Just great. Doesn’t matter how you feel. Their music adjusts to you”

Tove Lo : “I don;t even do drugs but her words are so sincere”

The Neighbourhood : “The best things since sliced bread”

P.S And on Lorde radio they play “Skin” by Rihanna, the best and cleanest sex song ever…I promise you.


Some great tracks to listen to:

  1. Electric Feel – MGMT
  2. Stars – The Xx
  3. The Mother We Share – CHVRCHES
  4. Obedear – Purity Ring
  5. Solo Sunrise – Chet Faker
  6. This Is What Makes Us Girls – Lana Del Ray
  7. Habits (Stay High)(Hippie Sabotage Remix) – Tove Lo
  8. Sail – AWOLNATION
  9. Mignight City – M83
  10. In The Waiting Line – Zero 7
  11. Whoops – 12th Planet & Mayhem


Reasons Why I Will Never Be Considered A Conventional Beauty


Light skin. Above average height. Womanly curves. I think I look pretty great in this picture. Its one of my better ones. So what’s the problem?

I’m not photogenic. Our world today is based on moments captured in a still frame and that is how we determine an objects beauty. This goes for people as well. Instagram, Facebook and any other social media site based purely on images and the rating system of “likes”.

It doesn’t make any sense. I seem like a person that could possibly be considered beautiful right? At least that’s what people tell me. But my instagram page would have you thinking otherwise. When I put up a photo I am happy if I can get 10-15 likes. To my peers this means I am not considered “relevant”. How do I know this? They’ve told me. Trust me.

I’ve tried to get more “likes” because I wanted to be more relevant. I posted more selfies, hoping that would make a difference. Body shots also. Guess which ones got more likes? It definitely had nothing to do with my face. Plus I don’t wear makeup too often either.

The whole point of this blog is to show how one can alter themselves to be more acceptable but still be in tune with themselves and ultimately make themselves better. That’s what I hope to do.

Onii Fetta : Life in the Making